I know, it's been a while!

The end of the school year is always so much fun. Teacher gifts to figure out, classroom parties, field day, 1/2 days... You get the idea! Caden's last 1/2 day is tomorrow and Trace is done on the 17th so we are almost there. Then I of course decided to throw in a trip to the beach with all three kids by myself! We packed that little Hyundai until we couldn't fit anything else in then hooked the bikes on the back and took off. It was supposed to be a beautiful weekend but true to the Long Beach Peninsula a cloud bank decided to sit there all weekend except for a couple hours late Saturday. It wasn't miserable by any means just not the 70+ degrees everyone else was having back home. Oh-well we had a good time anyway. It only took me about an hour and a half to get the fire going (and a whole bag of fire starters). It turns out that old, dry wood burns better than new wet stuff. Um, yeah I knew that at one time long before my mommy brain took over and made me look completely incompetent! Apparently I did a good job after that though because we got a really HOT fire going. The boys, of course being boys, were having lots of fun 'helping' me keep the fire going. About 8:30 we decided to drive down to watch the sunset, which was beautiful until the last ten minutes when the clouds blocked everything out. While we were sitting there waiting Caden asked me to look at his hair and tell him what was in it because it felt sticky "or something". I took one look and immediately started laughing - he had somehow managed to scorch the top of his head! Trace and I were laughing but Mr. Style was so embarrassed that he was crying. I took a couple of pictures (against his will) which he grudgingly smiled for. I'm still getting a chuckle out of that one. We spent over 4 hours on the beach Saturday hunkered down in the dunes to avoid the wind and the kids had so much fun. They dug until they couldn't dig any more and we all got a little sun on our cheeks. Well, on Sunday when we finally made it home we couldn't find Tigger who normally greets us at the door. I had my suspicions which were prooved correct shortly when we found him crying in the backyard. That darned cat thinks he should be an outdoor cat despite the fact that he has had no shots and has no coller. So now do we make him and indoor/outdoor cat? Or keep fighting an endless battle? So in short we couldn't start a fire, Caden nearly burned the hair off his head, and we left the cat out with no food or water for two days - but it was a great weekend!

Paige Singing Veggie Tales

"Hi Daddy!"

Paige just wanted to say "hi" to Daddy from her new slide. If it would quit raining and let the sun come out I'm sure she would be on it continuously! The only problem she has is with the "spiders" which can barely be seen but for some reason seem to freak her out - oh puuleees!

Memorial Weekend 2008

The strangest conversation...

As I was leaving Costco today with Paige in tow I stopped to answer my phone. When I hung up a lady sitting there asked if she was my daughter or if she was adopted. I answered that she was my daughter and yes she was adopted. I was already a little bit bugged by this lady but I gave her the benefit of the doubt and allowed the conversation to continue. She mentioned that she had been to an agency to talk about adoption and that she couldn't believe how much it cost! Yes it is expensive. What she said next was what really floored me though. "Wow! Is that ever a money maker for the government! They are making money and then on top of it sending their children here for us to raise!" I am not a quick thinker and just stood there speechless. I'm glad that I did because she continued to tell me that they had lost a child to cancer four years ago and she really wanted to adopt. I had to assume she is just very uneducated about adoption, and went ahead and attempted to educate her a little about different options available. In the end I walked away though just shaking my head and kicking myself at the same time. Many people don't get it, but I sure hope before they actually adopt that they get a little information. I was kicking myself a bit too though because it was another reminder that I am still not prepared for these encounters. It needs to be my number one priority to protect Paige from comments that are negative and secondly I need to set an example for all my children as to how to reply. Guess I'd better get practicing!

The latest happenings...

We took the kids to Steakburger the other night for a round of mini golf. They were so excited and insisted we not go anywhere but Steakburger. The place is ancient - it was there when my mom was a kid (sorry mom)! Every so often there is talk of bulldozing it but everyone gets upset and fights it. Anyway, they had fun and got to spend some quality time with Daddy between trips.

Savor Each and Every Moment!

Happy Mother's Day!

Mother's Day. I feel like it should be something profound. Something magical. Something... I don't know. So what is it? Another day of potty training, another day of bickering, room cleaning, laundry and fixing meals for kids. The big difference is that I get to keep saying to them, "Hey! This is mother's day. Is this the way you are going to behave?" The problem is that I have to keep saying it!

I am acutely aware today though of a group of mother's especially close to my heart. These are the mother's still waiting. Many of them know their child has been born but have no idea where or when, let alone how he/she is. They wait day in and day out hoping China will have mercy on them. They are mother's and yet rather than celebrate they will likely choose to hide today, it just hurts so much. I know this feeling only a little. While I was waiting I had two precious boys to celebrate with. It didn't make the hole for the missing child any smaller, but it gave me a distraction. For those who don't have any other "distractions" I hope you know you are every bit a mother.

Telefloral recently ran an ad where they separted mother's into categories. (they later posted a retracting with an apology saying they didn't realize it might offend!?) One category was labeled "non - mom's" for aunts, grandparents, foster and ADOPTIVE parents. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that there is at least one person with that view point. NON moms? Is there really such a thing? If you are kissing owies, cleaning up vomit at 2am, and correcting school papers then you are a mom. It makes no difference if you gave birth to that child, foster or ADOPTED them. A non mom. So if I'm Paige's non mom does that make her a non child? I agree with a fellow blogger who said that the part that makes us the saddest is that these types of people will someday come into contact with my precious child. Someday a comment or article like that will make my child cry and ask questions she should never have. Just for those of you who aren't aware, Paige WAS adopted. Adoption is an action not a state of being. She is not our adopted daughter, she is our daughter. And I am her mom. (even now as she glares at me for taking her off the counter!)

For me, mother's day is really just another day. But it is another day to remember my blessings and share my pride in them. When Trace was born, I became a mom. I was so excited to show him off and "play" mom (though I didn't realize it then). Reality didn't hit for quite a while. By the time Caden came along I just wanted to take him home and get back to life. The novelty of showing him off had faded into the reality of being a family. When Paige finally arrived we were ready to move on. Our family complete. I am fascinated by the phases of motherhood and how universal they seem to be. We all think we are so ready and know so much with the first one. Several years down the line we begin to grow and it is easier to see not only where we've been but where we are going. I ran into someone the other day whom I know has always used a very strict parenting theory. Her children are well behaved. At one time I would have been acutely aware of Trace interrupting that conversation and Paige wandering off. I was comforted to realize that for the first time - I didn't care! I really didn't care. In fact I didn't even think about it until we got out to the car 20 minutes later. My children are my children and I'm proud of them. Do they always behave perfectly? Nope but I know they can. Most importantly I have finally figured out that it matters little what I do. They are going to become who they are meant to be and I am mearly here to guide and assist them along the way. Motherhood is very humbling.

Enjoying the sunshine

Robin and I took the two little girls to the park last week to enjoy a few moments of sun! Paige wanted her shoes and socks off and then spent a large portion of her time trying to clean the sand out of her toes! She loves spending time with Robin and Collette though and had a great time. I, of course, had a lot of fun with the camera!

We haven't been up to much else around here though. I feel bad about not updating the blog very often but there just isn't much to say about our rather uneventful lives right now! The boys are doing well in school and Trace seems to be missing Chicago considerably less. He said the other day that he did miss being able to see for miles and miles to which I responded that we had apparently lived out there too long then! I think they both feel that school can't get out soon enough right now. I think I'm ready for summer too - even if it does mean a lot more bickering! Rick is still foing well and seems to definately like his new job. The biggest challenge right now is the commute between here and Fresno. We are still learning the ropes and how to maneuver the system to eliminate long layovers - we'll get it eventually. Of course that is about the time they will change his base!

The babies are gone...

No more diapers, no more high chair, no more bottles, no more trips to wander Babies R Us aimlessly and most prominently no more crib. Isn't the crib the final thing most of us get rid of? The final farewell to our childbearing years? The last bit to hold onto "just in case"? Well ours is gone. I only wanted it to have a good home and it will now. As I loaded it into the car I thought only about how happy I'd be to get it out of our garage. As I talked to the mom I was giving it to I thought only that I hoped she'd like it. While I walked across the parking lot to her car I felt a twinge of something so brief that I might have missed it entirely if Paige had fallen and wacked her chin on the cement a second earlier. No tears. No depression. Of course Babies R Us will always be there if by some devine intervention another child should ever enter our home needing a crib!

A Day at the Lake

I decided Sunday morning to take the kids, after church, for a hike around a little local lake. Grandma decided to come along too. So we packed some snacks, water, first aid kit (no reason), and threw on our grubby clothes. The kids had a lot of fun throwing sticks and rocks into the water and exploring everything off the trail that Grandma and I would allow! We all got some good exercise and thoroughly enjoyed the nice weather.

"Yet's sit down, wyte here. Ok, mommy?"

"fishing"

Hiking around the lake

Cousins

We shared "Survivor" night with Aunt Cheryl, Uncle "Weedy" (Woody), Nichole and Coleen last week. Caden and Paige are especially enamored with Coleen and had to jockey for a position in her lap to watch the show!

Coconut and Survivor

Thursday nights at our house are "Survivor" and pizza night. For the last several weeks Caden had been asking what was in those things they were always knocking out of the trees on the show. So I picked up a small coconut at the grocery store. They each got to pound a hole in the top to drain the "milk" then we wrapped it in a towel and took it out back where they each had a turn at pounding it with the hammer. Trace finally split it! No one was especially excited about trying what was in there but they were definately curious and the 'mystery' has been solved!

How long do those little hands and feet stay cute enough to take a close up of?

Aren't they sweet?

At least sometimes! I wish it was always like this! We have had a lot of problems lately with behavior problems but I think we may have finally turned the corner. I know I shouldn't speak too soon though! The sunshine definately helps to put everyone in a better mood - how could it not!?

Yes, I know Caden's helmit is not on correctly! We are waiting for the income tax return to buy him a new one - at least he is wearing one though!

Watching her brothers

I caught our little princess watching her brothers out the window yesterday. It was a beautiful day and she was so excited to see them. I did take her out shortly after!

A quick overnight...

When Rick got home on Saturday (he's an official pilot now by-the-way) we took off for Long Beach. We met some family down there at their lot and tried (unsuccessfully) to get to bed early. The next morning at o'dark o'clock Everyone except Paige and I got up and headed down onto the beach for a couple hours of claming. Apparently the boys had a lot of fun. Caden caught two completely on his own and Trace got several too! Paige and I got the trailer picked up and breakfast started for the cold beachgoers. We spent the afternoon burning underbrush and fallen branches from the lot - in between downpours. The boys were exhausted but didn't want to give up! They hauled, chopped and climbed all afternoon. Trace's sweats are on their second wash cycle as I type! We laughed a lot about how different camping is here in the Northwest. If it rains you just pull out the raincoats and keep going. If you let the rain stop you then you might as well not bother going at all! Anyway, we all had a good time and are ready to go again, but for now it is back to school and work (Rick's first flight is Wednesday).

Camping NW style!

A little change

Some of you may have inadvertantly clicked on the comment in the post below that gives you a virus warning (if you haven't, please don't - there is no actual message). I can't figure out how to get rid of it yet so for now I have made two changes to the comments section.
1) You will have to type in the weird letters like you have to for credit cards and such
2) I will be previewing all posts before they appear on the blog. So if you want to include something more personal just tell me not to post it! I hope this isn't a porblem for anyone because I love to get comments!

A little late but here's the birthday pics...

I actually took 61 pictures and had a really hard time narrowing them down. I'll post some of the others later.

A little something I've been working on...

I am just amazed at the beauty I see when I look at her little face. I am often just left speechless when I see her asleep. But awake with a personality like no other is when I am most in awe of her!

Catching Up

Oops! I just thought this picture was kind of funny. It was one time Caden made a mistake and I was able to get him to laugh about it! He didn't realize the box of spaghetti noodles was already opened.

Anyway, I haven't updated recently because Rick has been home for two weeks now. He was sent home from training pretty sick with a sinus infection and an intestinal bug. A few doses of antibiotics and he was on the mend in a couple of days. Unfortunately they aren't able to get him back into class until the 29th. So he is home for one more week. It has been nice to have him around and we've managed to get a couple things done too. The kids are loving every minute of it (so far)! So, at the moment all is well. Financially we are ok for now and I really appreciate all of you who have expressed your concern and offered help. There may come a day when we do need your help!

Easter is tomorrow! I hope you are all celebrating this wonderful day with family and/or friends. We are overjoyed to be able to celebrate with our family and friends both this year.

Put on a happy face...

I thought maybe I should post something since the last one was such a downer! It seems like there is something going on around here daily. I keep hoping life will slow down a little bit. I got a call from Rick yesterday morning that he was coming home. It is a really long story (I'll fill you in if you call!) but it isn't a bad thing as far as his training goes. In a few days to a week he should be going back to finish up. For now, he is home trying to get caught up on sleep mainly! As for the rest of us we are about the same. I had a conference with Trace's teacher yesterday and he is a good student which we knew. He does have a bit of an issue with talking in class -no surprise if you know Trace! His reading is at or above grade level and his vocabulary is well above - in the 98 percentile. An all around good kid. Caden is still, well Caden. I can't seem to get a hold on his anger and it errupts at the most unexpected time. All I can do is keep muddling through for now. Paige is working really hard on potty training! I had high hopes we'd be done by now but considering she is just barely two I have to give her a lot of credit. She is having about one accident on average a day and telling me she needs to go about half the time. We're getting there! As for myself, I'm hanging in there. What else can I do? I got to get away for a few hours Tuesday morning which was wonderful and I'm feeling a little more on top of things since finishing Paige's room and getting ours to a liveable condition. There is still the neverending trail that Paige leaves behind her and the boys too, and the laundry and dishes just don't wash themselves either! Life is really not all bad, just a lot to deal with at the moment and some days are better than others. I'll get some more pictures up soon!

Warning - Don't read if you're in a good mood!

I'm tired. Tired of kids. Tired of motherhood. Tired of arguing. Tired of trying to figure out how to make Caden quit saying things like "I hate you" which his sister is now picking up. Tired of a two year old who will not listen and only says "NO" and "STOP IT" usually at the top of her lungs in public places. Tired of this house being a mess. Tired of never feeling like I can get ahead. Tired of potty training. Tired of being stressed about our finances and not able to go to the grocery store. Tired of that D_ mn scale not going anywhere but up!
I am starting to think that girls are a lot of fun until age two then we might as well lock them away until about age 30! She just keeps getting into things she know she isn't supposed to be into and watching me the entire time with a look of, "what are you gonna do?". If I ask her to come to me or pick something up she moves r-e-a-l-l-y slow then the second I move she flies into gear and does what it was I asked! I know the boys were into things and busy, but they weren't so openly defiant!
I know I'm feeling a lot of this because of the move and changes we've been going through. But I had really hoped by now I'd be settling in and feeling better about life. Trace and I sat on his bed last night crying together as he told me how much he missed all his friends in Chicago. He just hasn't found one good friend out here yet and he had a couple out there as well as being generally popular. Part of me was right there with him wishing nothing had changed. I miss not being so busy and I miss having friends I can hang out with anytime. Rick will be home in a week which will be good. After that we will have to learn to adjust to our new life. Starting with Easter which he will miss this year (and probably every other holiday but that's to worry about another day). I don't have a problem with him being gone, I'm pretty independent and like my time with the kids. But having him gone for basically 6 weeks with just a few days home in the middle has been unbelieveably hard. Especially considering we threw in a cross counrty move with it and three kids who are struggling to adjust to that! I really don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had my parents help. They have taken the kids and helped me out with things around the house and I appreciate it so much!
Life isn't all bad news though. I added a couple of pictures from the last few days that we are having fun too! We went metal detecting again and the kids had a ball. I took Paige's potty chair and sat it on the beach between some logs and she used it twice! We've also been outside a lot with the neighbor girls. Tomorrow I'm going to finally get a couple of hours by myself to just go wander somewhere and Wednesday I'm going to get some financial help with food. Hopefully by the end of the week I'll have a little brighter outlook!

Ready for takeoff

Apparently Baby likes tuna... who knew?

Another day at the river

Riding the neighbors bike...

Whew! It's finally over!

What a long week this has been. Getting Rick home and trying to finish up the house in time for the open house today. In the middle there we had a tiny birthday party for Paige too! She loved her cake and the plastic food that velcros together was a big hit too. Then today we combined her birthday and a party for Rick into one open house. It went well, I think, and we had a decent turn out. There were lots of kids which the boys really liked but it took a while for Paige to get used to. By the end though when the final goodbye's were being said she kept repeating, "pawdy, pawdy." It took me a minute to figure out she was saying, party! I asked her if she liked her party and she said, "yeah." I asked her if she wanted more party and again she said, "yeah." I think she was sad to see everyone go! Her party dress was a hit (thanks Grandma!) and I hope to take her two year pictures in it someday soon so everyone can see it better. In the meantime, I'm off to sit!

"Pawdy" time!

Frenchman's Bar

For those of you not from around here, that would be a bar like on a river! More specifically, the Columbia River. My friend Robin and I took the kids down to hunt for treasure with her metal detector. It was a beautiful day (just a tad chilly) and the kids had so much fun. It combined two of Caden's favorite activities - digging and collecting junk! He grinned from ear to ear each time he dug up a rusty nail or piece of rebar. It was such an opportunity to remember the beauty around us and be thankful for what we are blessed with here in the Northwest!

A few pictures