I'm tired. Tired of kids. Tired of motherhood. Tired of arguing. Tired of trying to figure out how to make Caden quit saying things like "I hate you" which his sister is now picking up. Tired of a two year old who will not listen and only says "NO" and "STOP IT" usually at the top of her lungs in public places. Tired of this house being a mess. Tired of never feeling like I can get ahead. Tired of potty training. Tired of being stressed about our finances and not able to go to the grocery store. Tired of that D_ mn scale not going anywhere but up!
I am starting to think that girls are a lot of fun until age two then we might as well lock them away until about age 30! She just keeps getting into things she know she isn't supposed to be into and watching me the entire time with a look of, "what are you gonna do?". If I ask her to come to me or pick something up she moves r-e-a-l-l-y slow then the second I move she flies into gear and does what it was I asked! I know the boys were into things and busy, but they weren't so openly defiant!
I know I'm feeling a lot of this because of the move and changes we've been going through. But I had really hoped by now I'd be settling in and feeling better about life. Trace and I sat on his bed last night crying together as he told me how much he missed all his friends in Chicago. He just hasn't found one good friend out here yet and he had a couple out there as well as being generally popular. Part of me was right there with him wishing nothing had changed. I miss not being so busy and I miss having friends I can hang out with anytime. Rick will be home in a week which will be good. After that we will have to learn to adjust to our new life. Starting with Easter which he will miss this year (and probably every other holiday but that's to worry about another day). I don't have a problem with him being gone, I'm pretty independent and like my time with the kids. But having him gone for basically 6 weeks with just a few days home in the middle has been unbelieveably hard. Especially considering we threw in a cross counrty move with it and three kids who are struggling to adjust to that! I really don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had my parents help. They have taken the kids and helped me out with things around the house and I appreciate it so much!
Life isn't all bad news though. I added a couple of pictures from the last few days that we are having fun too! We went metal detecting again and the kids had a ball. I took Paige's potty chair and sat it on the beach between some logs and she used it twice! We've also been outside a lot with the neighbor girls. Tomorrow I'm going to finally get a couple of hours by myself to just go wander somewhere and Wednesday I'm going to get some financial help with food. Hopefully by the end of the week I'll have a little brighter outlook!