Paige just wanted to say "hi" to Daddy from her new slide. If it would quit raining and let the sun come out I'm sure she would be on it continuously! The only problem she has is with the "spiders" which can barely be seen but for some reason seem to freak her out - oh puuleees!
Friday, May 16, 2008
As I was leaving Costco today with Paige in tow I stopped to answer my phone. When I hung up a lady sitting there asked if she was my daughter or if she was adopted. I answered that she was my daughter and yes she was adopted. I was already a little bit bugged by this lady but I gave her the benefit of the doubt and allowed the conversation to continue. She mentioned that she had been to an agency to talk about adoption and that she couldn't believe how much it cost! Yes it is expensive. What she said next was what really floored me though. "Wow! Is that ever a money maker for the government! They are making money and then on top of it sending their children here for us to raise!" I am not a quick thinker and just stood there speechless. I'm glad that I did because she continued to tell me that they had lost a child to cancer four years ago and she really wanted to adopt. I had to assume she is just very uneducated about adoption, and went ahead and attempted to educate her a little about different options available. In the end I walked away though just shaking my head and kicking myself at the same time. Many people don't get it, but I sure hope before they actually adopt that they get a little information. I was kicking myself a bit too though because it was another reminder that I am still not prepared for these encounters. It needs to be my number one priority to protect Paige from comments that are negative and secondly I need to set an example for all my children as to how to reply. Guess I'd better get practicing!
We took the kids to Steakburger the other night for a round of mini golf. They were so excited and insisted we not go anywhere but Steakburger. The place is ancient - it was there when my mom was a kid (sorry mom)! Every so often there is talk of bulldozing it but everyone gets upset and fights it. Anyway, they had fun and got to spend some quality time with Daddy between trips.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Mother's Day. I feel like it should be something profound. Something magical. Something... I don't know. So what is it? Another day of potty training, another day of bickering, room cleaning, laundry and fixing meals for kids. The big difference is that I get to keep saying to them, "Hey! This is mother's day. Is this the way you are going to behave?" The problem is that I have to keep saying it!
I am acutely aware today though of a group of mother's especially close to my heart. These are the mother's still waiting. Many of them know their child has been born but have no idea where or when, let alone how he/she is. They wait day in and day out hoping China will have mercy on them. They are mother's and yet rather than celebrate they will likely choose to hide today, it just hurts so much. I know this feeling only a little. While I was waiting I had two precious boys to celebrate with. It didn't make the hole for the missing child any smaller, but it gave me a distraction. For those who don't have any other "distractions" I hope you know you are every bit a mother.
Telefloral recently ran an ad where they separted mother's into categories. (they later posted a retracting with an apology saying they didn't realize it might offend!?) One category was labeled "non - mom's" for aunts, grandparents, foster and ADOPTIVE parents. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that there is at least one person with that view point. NON moms? Is there really such a thing? If you are kissing owies, cleaning up vomit at 2am, and correcting school papers then you are a mom. It makes no difference if you gave birth to that child, foster or ADOPTED them. A non mom. So if I'm Paige's non mom does that make her a non child? I agree with a fellow blogger who said that the part that makes us the saddest is that these types of people will someday come into contact with my precious child. Someday a comment or article like that will make my child cry and ask questions she should never have. Just for those of you who aren't aware, Paige WAS adopted. Adoption is an action not a state of being. She is not our adopted daughter, she is our daughter. And I am her mom. (even now as she glares at me for taking her off the counter!)
For me, mother's day is really just another day. But it is another day to remember my blessings and share my pride in them. When Trace was born, I became a mom. I was so excited to show him off and "play" mom (though I didn't realize it then). Reality didn't hit for quite a while. By the time Caden came along I just wanted to take him home and get back to life. The novelty of showing him off had faded into the reality of being a family. When Paige finally arrived we were ready to move on. Our family complete. I am fascinated by the phases of motherhood and how universal they seem to be. We all think we are so ready and know so much with the first one. Several years down the line we begin to grow and it is easier to see not only where we've been but where we are going. I ran into someone the other day whom I know has always used a very strict parenting theory. Her children are well behaved. At one time I would have been acutely aware of Trace interrupting that conversation and Paige wandering off. I was comforted to realize that for the first time - I didn't care! I really didn't care. In fact I didn't even think about it until we got out to the car 20 minutes later. My children are my children and I'm proud of them. Do they always behave perfectly? Nope but I know they can. Most importantly I have finally figured out that it matters little what I do. They are going to become who they are meant to be and I am mearly here to guide and assist them along the way. Motherhood is very humbling.
Friday, May 09, 2008
Robin and I took the two little girls to the park last week to enjoy a few moments of sun! Paige wanted her shoes and socks off and then spent a large portion of her time trying to clean the sand out of her toes! She loves spending time with Robin and Collette though and had a great time. I, of course, had a lot of fun with the camera!
We haven't been up to much else around here though. I feel bad about not updating the blog very often but there just isn't much to say about our rather uneventful lives right now! The boys are doing well in school and Trace seems to be missing Chicago considerably less. He said the other day that he did miss being able to see for miles and miles to which I responded that we had apparently lived out there too long then! I think they both feel that school can't get out soon enough right now. I think I'm ready for summer too - even if it does mean a lot more bickering! Rick is still foing well and seems to definately like his new job. The biggest challenge right now is the commute between here and Fresno. We are still learning the ropes and how to maneuver the system to eliminate long layovers - we'll get it eventually. Of course that is about the time they will change his base!
Thursday, May 01, 2008
No more diapers, no more high chair, no more bottles, no more trips to wander Babies R Us aimlessly and most prominently no more crib. Isn't the crib the final thing most of us get rid of? The final farewell to our childbearing years? The last bit to hold onto "just in case"? Well ours is gone. I only wanted it to have a good home and it will now. As I loaded it into the car I thought only about how happy I'd be to get it out of our garage. As I talked to the mom I was giving it to I thought only that I hoped she'd like it. While I walked across the parking lot to her car I felt a twinge of something so brief that I might have missed it entirely if Paige had fallen and wacked her chin on the cement a second earlier. No tears. No depression. Of course Babies R Us will always be there if by some devine intervention another child should ever enter our home needing a crib!