The Right Perspective

This past week Paige was in a school performance. It was just a brief little event where the first graders sang some songs for their parents before the family night event at the school. She has never actually done anything other than stand there with a frown on her face so, although I hoped, I doubted she would do anything different this time. Imagine my surprise as the music started and her little hands started performing the signs while she sang out with a smile on her face. I watched as she giggled and goofed around with her friends. She was having fun and enjoying what she was doing. It melted my heart.

For a while I thought my emotions were a result of thinking of what could have been. What could have been, for Paige, if things had been different. But I knew that wasn't right. In fact it almost made me mad to think that way. How do I know what could have been? For all I know it could have been a lot better, or just different. I've never felt like we did something for her and I knew that wasn't the right description of what I was feeling. So what brought the tears to my eyes? After two days of working through my emotions, it finally hit me. It wasn't what could have been for her, it was what could have been for us! When people tell me she is "such a doll," or "so cute," while I agree with them, I don't see her the same way. I don't see that she is different. Looking at her up on that stage I saw her smily face at the edge of my bed on a Saturday morning, I saw her twirling and bouncing through the house, I felt her sleeping weight as I carry her to her bed, and I felt those little arms around me in her tightest bear hug. I saw my daughter and I realized what could have been for us without her in our lives! That empty hole she has filled in my heart, that extra sparkle she brings to our home and I can't imagine life without it. I watched her sing about having food in her belly and love in her family and I was overcome with thankfulness that I am the one who gets to provide those thing for her. And the tears fell.

Here she is...

I guess I'm a failing blogger!

But dang, if life just doesn't get in the way! So here are some snippets of what's been going on...

Paige experienced her first Spirit Week and particularly liked mismatch day!

She also proudly earned her button for completing 5 book reports! This month she is trying for her 10 report button. Way to go Paige!

I discovered that miracles do happen when I found the boys sitting shoulder to shoulder on the couch. They weren't there by force or bribery AND they weren't fighting! Wonders never cease.

I also found a great reason to never dust again. Look closely - see the little handprint? I'm not sure if it is Paige's or one of my little nephew's but it doesn't matter, those precious little hands only stay that way for a very short time!

When I went out in the garage the other night I found proof that the bikes are definitely quite prolific! Rick has been swearing it for many years and, well the proof is in the pudding! There are three extra bikes parked right there in line with all of the others.

And finally, Trace had his last unicycle performance of the year at Jump for Heart for the elementary school. It is a huge event at the boy's school every year. Last year they brought in over $10,000 for the American Heart Association! Pretty good for a school of about 400. Trace is on the 6 foot giraff in this picture.

My Little Helpers

Caden and Paige helped me make flatbread last night. I put them in charge of flipping the bread while I rolled the dough out. It was a learning process but they both caught on and were pro's by the time we got through 24 pieces!

Paige was particularly frustrated with learning to flip them. Caden was so patient and encouraging though (sometimes he is capable of that!).

She was so proud of herself when she finally got it!

Then we had a little flipper high fiving going on...
Once we were done we made little individual pizzas followed by improvised elephant ears. There can never be enough flatbread at our house!

Six years old!

Our baby girl is six years old! I told her she wasn't allowed to be six and she giggled and told me "too bad!" As all parents say, I don't know where the time has gone. Seems like yesterday I was sitting in the rocking chair in her room trying to memorize her little, sleeping face. Now she reads a chapter to me before practicing spelling words and doing homework! Our beautiful baby girl is growing up right before our eyes. This past year has been a year with a lot of changes for Miss. P. She graduated pre-school, started kindergarten and moved to first grade all in just six months time. She learned to ride a two wheel bike. Went to Hawaii and Disneyland for the first time. She started gymnastics and rapidly moved up to pre-team where she is excelling! I'm sure the coming year will bring even more changes. Hopefully her sweet, giggly, sparkly personality won't change too much! Love you to pieces my little girly girl!

Dentist Barbie for our future dentist! Couldn't resist encouraging her now could we?

San Francisco

Rick and I were able to get away for a couple of days in February. We decided on San Fran since it is fairly close and we only had 2-3 days. It was so wonderful to be able to do whatever we wanted and just hang out together! We probably walked 10+ miles in two days!

The Alcatraz tour was awesome! We were really blessed to have the rare beautiful day to go out to the island. The audio tour was very informative and walking around in the sunshine was so refreshing! (I'm sure it wasn't nearly so refreshing for the prisoners!)

We were trying to get a picture of us with the Golden Gate bridge in the background. Well, it's a great picture of us but where's the bridge? LOL

One of the places I really wanted to go was Chinatown. Since we lived in Chicago we really haven't been able to go to a "good" Chinatown. It didn't dissapoint either! We got all of the kids little gifts, including a new New Year outfit for Paige. But for the few more "American" stores one could easily think they were in China. Made me almost wish the kids were with us to see it!

We had a great couple of days away and I can't wait until we get away again! Next time maybe we'll take a little longer and hit Texas?!

Why I haven’t been blogging much!

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

Happy Chinese New Year! It is the year of the Dragon and we had a great celebration. This year was a little bit of a different group and it was fun to share the tradition with new people too. I made a dragon cake that I am quite proud of and the kids were thrilled with.

Just before CNY we finally had a mini snow day. There was no school, since no one knows how to drive anything more than rain around here, so the kids built a snowman in a hurry before it melted! Then we peeled the drenched clothes off their freezing bodies and started the drying process. By afternoon it was all gone and life had returned to normal.

Heaven has a new angel tonight

I have followed the blogs of a couple of little boys for more than two years now. Both of them were born with a horrible, awful disease called Epidermolysis Bullosa, EB for short. Jonah is a little cutie who, despite this disease, is thriving and growing. Tripp has not been so lucky. Tripp has suffered every possible side affect ending up with a feeding tube, trach, constant pain, blindness and the inability to even move over the last couple of months. Today he finally earned his wings. He was a special blessing whose mother has proven to be an amazing young woman. The life Tripp lived was by no means a life of high quality. Yet he touched thousands and thousands of others in his short time here - more than most of us will be able to say! He has brought about an awareness of EB that never before existed. The two years of agony he lived had a purpose and now that purpose will live on in his memory. Please say a prayer for his mother and others who loved him! His blog is in my side bar if you want to check it out.

Why do I follow these blogs? Why to I subject myself to the sadness and suffering when I don't have to? I have asked myself this many times. I don't do it to make myself sad, nor is it to make myself feel better about my life. I find it very hard to put in to words the reasons I follow these stories.

The word compassion means: (1) a deep awareness and sympathy of the sufferings of another. (2) the humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it.

In addition to having the sorrow that is felt for the suffering of others, it is a willingness and an urge to assist them. The word compassion actually means to do something about feeling sorry, to be affected by their situation. It is to enter into another's sorrow and pain. When we feel true compassion, we will be moved inwardly. It means to be tenderhearted; to be sensitive and affectionate, to be moved with tender feelings over the pain and sufferings of others.

I have cried with and for these families. I have held my own children tighter. I have celebrated the triumphs as well - not every situation has a tragic ending. To be with these people in spirit is to feel a human connection that is unlike any other.

The suffering of innocent children is horrifying beyond words. But if we can somehow participate in suffering that we can not relieve, then somehow maybe our silent presence will relieve it.

Tonight I celebrate how well Jonah is doing while aching for the loss that Tripp's family is feeling. Do I know their pain? No. Lord willing, I never will. But if I should, then I can only imagine the comfort I might feel in knowing others were hurting with me and trying to ease my burden by simply sharing it.