Monday, November 12, 2007

One Year.

One year. One year. Already? Our final post placement visit is scheduled for Wednesday. Final. That's it. Done. Wow!

Someone recently asked me what the best part about adopting has been. I didn't know how to answer right away. Adopting is such an amazing and sureal experience and for a long time that was my focus. I loved "showing off" my beautiful baby girl and dressing her all up. I loved that we had "adopted" and was so proud of it. I still am. But I find myself beginning to realize what so many in the adoption community have said all along. This is just our family. Paige was adopted as in past tense. Adoption is a verb not a adjective. It is a one time act, not a description of someone. How she joined our family is special, but no more special than how her brothers joined our family. We are a family, complete. Two boys and a girl.

The day Paige was handed to us I remember thinking all day long how I wanted to remember every second. I wanted to make it last as long as possible. I knew it was finally our moment. We were handed an overdressed little bundle whose lip quivered a tad. Moments later her daddy won her first big smile! When we were back in our room and just looking at her on the bed (wondering what to do) Rick said in his best sing-song baby voice, "what was I thinking? Why did I want another baby?". Paige looked up at him and gave him her biggest, cheesiest grin yet. And he simply said, "that's why." Yes, that is why. Why we filled out paper after paper, and went through one background check after another. Why we endured the long wait that we never thought would end. Why we traveled half way around the world to love a baby we'd only seen a picture of and who needed us as much as we needed her. Those smiles that melt your heart, listening to her babbling in her crib in the morning, watching her play with Daddy, seeing her grow and change right before our eyes! That's why.

I prayed for Paige long before she was born. I still pray for her. She will have challenges to face in her life that I can't imagine. I know she will also wonder about her birth and the circumstances surounding it. I pray that she won't feel an emptiness inside but that she will know without any doubt that she is right where God wanted her to be all along.

There is an ancient Chinese proverb that is frequently used in the adoption community. " An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time or place or circumstance. The thread may streach or tangle but will never break." I've finally decided though that our red thread doesn't go directly from Paige's heart to ours because God is holding it tightly in the middle! Our beautiful baby girl has changed our lives and we will never be the same again.


"Never doubt, for one single minute

You didn't grow under my heart but

in it."

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