So, I've been stewing for a while about a couple of different things. It really just boils down to making the right decisions for your kids. That seems like it should just be so simple and yet we all know that it is anything but simple. The first issue for me right now is dealing with Caden. While I have been pretty open on here about most things there is a small part of this that I feel needs to be kept private. For him to share if he ever feels like it. Unfortunately that has a lot to do with the decisions I'm trying to make for him. So, hopefully I can explain in a semi understandable way! I counted up the other day and figured that we have seen seven different medical professionals since he was born. Three of those have been in the last six months. All of them were consulted about his anger. None of them gave us any answers. Several of them tried, they really did, but it wasn't the answer. Six months ago I decided I couldn't take another day of the anger and violence. Our home was in constant turmoil and Caden was never happy. So we went to our pediatrician. He tried to help but ultimately sent us to a behavioral pediatrician. I was so unhappy with that guy that I took him to see my doctor. Now I just feel like we are in limbo. My doctor really isn't ideal for the long term and I won't go back to the behavioral pediatrician (he asked Caden the same questions every visit and told us about three times that he definitely doesn't have Asbergers (Autism) - no kidding!? Since that isn't what we brought him in for I'm so comforted to hear that! There were several other issues with him too.) So where do we go next? I'm so tired of "trying" out doctors and having to repeat our story and all the tests. I'm really, really just tired of it. Mostly for Caden's sake though. He is sitting right there when I'm telling the doctor what is going on! That just isn't right and I refuse to do that again. So, I have the recommendations of three different doctors and some center for testing and evaluation. But I need someone who is going to listen to me. I definitely don't know everything, but I've lived with this kid for nine years, read everything I could get my hands on and consulted with seven doctors. I've also worked with young children for over 20 years. I think I have earned the right to be listened to and worked with. I'm not a quack job or a nut case, really I'm actually pretty reasonable (so I've been told). At this point I'm trying to decide between a referral from my doctor, one from a special ed. assistant and one from a parent. The one from the parent happens to be at OHSU which I think would be fabulous except that he seems to specialize in Autism - which you will recall we've been told he definitely doesn't have! I don't know what to do anymore. I really don't and that's probably why I haven't done anything.
The other issue is Paige and school. I've been asked many times over the last couple of years what we were going to do with her when she started kindergarten. For about the last year now I've been trying to figure that out. My first choice is to send her to the private school Trace went to for kindergarten and part of first grade. We were very happy with the school and they are certainly more advanced than the public schools, but they have a high price. The public school is obviously the easier choice in some ways - no cost, no uniforms and bus service to name a couple. Our principal though has made it very clear that she will not move kids up a grade. Not a whole grade and not even for a subject. I have a real problem with that and did find out it is not a district wide policy - just hers. I am in pretty good standing with everyone at the school and I don't really want to rock the boat. However... my child comes first. If she tests into first grade reading or math I want her sent to a first grade classroom for those subjects! There is study after study after study that shows the benefits up placing kids with like-minded peers rather than age equivalent ones. I haven't seen anything that says it is detrimental to a child or their development. Now if she doesn't test that high I'm totally ok with that too. She isn't a genius just very bright and I don't want her bored with school right off the bat. Anyway, that's what I've been tossing around in my head for a while now. I'm open to any thoughts, ideas or suggestions from the three of you who actually read this blog (if there is more than that I wouldn't know because you never comment!).