Saturday, July 15, 2006

One year ago today...

We were here in Chicago visiting and got news that our paperwork had finally been sent to China! We were officially DTC. After months and months of paperwork and delays it was such a relief to be able to just sit back and wait. I never imagined that 365 days later I would be living in the very house we were visiting and STILL waiting. While the rumors early in the week were positive the newest rumors are not so much. Ok, they are down right depressing. I think I've become numb to this whole process and as terrible as it sounds I just don't really care anymore. That's NOT to say I don't care about Paige or adopting her, just that I can't seem to let myself get too emotionally involved right now. It's just too hard. I've only had one dream in the last year about her and I can't bear to think much about her, it just hurts too much to wonder who she is and where she is. At this point Holt and our social worker have advised us to start the process to re-do our paperwork. It will involve another meeting with the social worker to update our homestudy, more child abuse and criminal background checks and of course more money! This time it isn't China requiring any of it though, it is all for US immigration. Our papers will expire in November and odds are we will not be back on US soil before they do. Please pray with us that we WILL be home for Christmas - I don't think I could make it through another one without her!

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